10 bituma abagore baca inyuma abagabo babo.

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Gucana inyuma kubashakanye ni kimwe mubimaze gufata indi ntera, aho usanga n’ababikora akenshi basa nk’ababigize umuco. Kuri ubu umubare munini w’abaca inyuma abandi werekana ko ari abagabo gusa igisekeje kurushaho abagabo nibo babazwa cyane n’uko abagore babo babaciye inyuma. Bamwe mubaganiriye na www.kigalistarz.com bavuga ko ahanini Impamvu itera abagabo kubabara ari  uko mu busanzwe atari umuco kumva ko umugore yasambana n’undi mugabo nyamara yarashatse.

Ibi byanteye gutekereza ndetse no gutegura ibintu 10 muri byinshi bitera abagore guca inyuma abagabo babo maze mbahitiramo ibi:

Kwiyumva cyane

 Ahanini abagore benshi bagwa mu cyaha cy’ubusambanyi bitewe no kubwirwa kenshi ndetse no gucibwa intege ko batashobora guca inyuma abo bashakanye. Kwiyumva ko urenze rero bituma uharanira kuvuguruza ibyo uvugwaho bigatera abagore kuba bahamagara abagabo cyangwa se abasore batashakanye bigatangira baganira nyuma bikarangira baryamanye. Uko wakeka kose ko ukomeye jya ugira imbibi.

Uburambe mu busambanyi

Bamwe mubagore usanga bakiri abakobwa baragiye baryamana n’abasore ndetse n’abagabo barenze umwe ibi bikabaviramo kumva barabaswe n’imibonano mpuzabitsina, kuburyo aba ayumva aricyo kintu kimuha amahoro ndetse igihe abishakiye agashaka umukiza umusonga ndetse kuri we akumva guca inyuma uwo bashakanye atari ibintu bihambaye cyane. Mubyeyi/mugore niba ushaka kuba siba hazaza hawe wiyibagize ibyagushukaga byose bityo bizagusenyera. Bari ni mwisuzume mu mitwe yanyu, maze ko imibonano mpuzabitsina ari icyubahiro cyanyu maze mubihe Agaciro bikwiye ntimukomeze kwisuzuguza muryamana nabo mubonye bose.

Gukoresha ibiyobyabwenge

hari abagore usanga mubukobwa bwabo bari abantu bahora mutubyiniro, mubirori bidashira, usanga banywa inzoga n’ibindi bisindisha bitandukanye, akenshi rero iyo umukobwa yasinze hari ubwo atahana n’abantu bitandukanye yewe ugasanga rimwe atahanye n’abo atazi. Iyo umaze gushaka ugakomeza uko wahoze ndavuga mubusinzi, birangira uciye inyuma umugabo wawe kubera wasinze ugasambana utabiteganyaga. Bagore namwe bakobwa ibyishimo byiza ni ibyishimo ugize uri utasinze. Umunsi uzanywa usinde ikibazo ni ukumenya igihe bizabera. Ese uziyakira umunsi uzabura umugabo wagukundaga uzira ko waryamanye n’umugabo ndetse utanibuka kubera agatama?

Gushaka insinzi yihuse

Abagore bamwe bumva ko kugera kunsinzi ari uko abanza kuryamana n’umukoresha we cyangwa unsi muntu umurusha ubushobozi. Gusa aha uba wibeshya cyane kubera ko nimumara kuryamana hakaza undi azajya abona wowe uri nk’umwanda imbere ye ndetse n’umufasha wawe n’abimenya bizagusenyera. Insinzi nziza ni iyo ugezeho wiyubahishije. Hari inzira nyinshi zagufasha kugera kunsinzi nk’imimyitwarire ndetse n’ubushobozi wifitemo. Mubyeyi, ndagusabye ba ikitegererezo ku bana bawe mukuberereka inzira nziza yo gutsinda.

Inshuti zikuyobya

Kugira inshuti mbi nabyo ni Bimwe mubituma abagore benshi baca inyuma abagabo babo. Ahanini usanga aba bagore basanzwe ingeso nziza bagira iyo gusinzira gusa gusa bakarota uburaya n’ubusambanyi muri bo bityo ibitotsi byabo bakaramuka byahindutse ibitutsi no koshyanya. Kuko guca inyuma rero kuribo biba byarabaye nko kwitsamurira ahantu bakaranze urusenda, baba bifuza ko nawe wasenya nka bo. Amwe mu magambo rero aza kereka izo nshuti hamimo nka “ufite nawe ibyo ukeneye”, “ baho unezere” “ wakumva itandukaniro ry’undi mugabo n’uwawe”………. Yewe bene aba usanga ari nabo bakugurira udukingirizo bakumvisha ko niyo wabikora, ugomba kwirinda. Nyamara urwo wubatse nirusenyuka bazakumwaza ndetse banagusige. Mugore, zitira zitira urugo rwawe n’inshuti nziza.

Kwirengagiza

Abagore bamwe na bamwe iyo barakaranyijwe n’abagabo babo bakora buryo ki bashaka icyatuma birengagiza agahinda bafite mu mutima! Rero iyo bahuye n’umusore wifitiye akrimi kanyerera ndavuga kavuga utugambo dutuma wibagirwa inzira igucyura ukarengaho ugakora marorerwa utatekerezaga ko wakora. Iyo umaze guca inyuma umugabo wawe kubwo kumwima umwanya ngo mubiganireho mwiyunge ushobora kuza kumuha umwanya wo kukwibutsa ko ugomba gusubira iwanyu. Rero mugore mwiza, rinde uburakari ndetse no guhunga umugabo wawe kuko bishobora kugutera kwicuza uzize kumuca inyuma rimwe ngo uri kwirengagiza  ibibazo.

Kwihorera

Kimwe mubituma ingo zisenyuka ni ukwihorera ukumva ko niba umugabo wawe yaguciye inyuma nawe ugomba kumuca inyuma kugira ngo umuhime nyamara ushobora kwihima. Niba umugabo wawe yabuze kwiyubaha wikora nkawe ahubwo uharanire guhorana indagagaciro zumugore murwo yubatse.

Kuba kure y’umukunzi

Nanone iki kibazo gikunda gutera abagore guca inyuma abagabo babo. Iyo amaze igihe atabonana n’umugabo we ageraho akumva ubushagarira birenze ubushobozi bwe agahitamo kujya cyangwa guhamagara uwamuhoza amarira. Ingero nyinshi hano usanga bikunze kubagore ababashoferi bakorerakure, abakozi bakora kukazi babayo, abasirikare n’abapolisi bagiye mu butumwa bw’amahoro……  inama nziza kurusha izindi iga kubaho mukababaro  k’imbere mumubiri kurusha guhemukira uwo ukunda. Kandi kuba kure yawe ntibikwibagize ko atari ko kuba y’umutima.

Kugera kucyo wifuzaga

Niba umugore yarashatseumugabo akurikiranye amafaranga ye, imitungo ye, ubwamamare, iyo amaze kubigeraho aba yumva uwo atakiri umugabo umukwiriye. Hari n’abagore bashakana n’abagabo bagira ngo babakureho umwana gusa byamara kuba agakorera umugabo ibitari byiza harimo no k’umuca inyuma. Mugore nawe mukobwa, kwikunda bishobora kuguta mu mwobo utazikuramo, ndetse nibyo washakaga ntibikugirire akamaro. Muhagarike gukoresha abagabo ndabasabye

Kwikururura k’umukunzi wahahise (ex)

Aha niho ruzingiye mubimaze ingo zicana inyuma ni ukuguma kwikubeta kubakunzi bahahise abo bit aba ex mu ndimi z’amahanga.

Ex ashobora kuba igisasu kirimbura bitewe n’ibihe byiza by’ahashize waba waragiranye nawe. Abagore benshi usangabagifitanye agakungu n’abakunzi b’ahahise ikibabaje kurushaho usanga barabihishe abagabo babo. Rimwe na rimwe usanga iyo akumbuye EX we atangira kwibuka ibihe byiza bagiranye, aho batemberanye ndetse n’iy baryamanye akabikumbura akibaza ati “ese kuki ntajya kumureba tukiyibutsa ibyiza twahozemo?!!”  Mugore, jya kure cyane y’urukundo rwawe rw’ahahise.

Ntukizere cyane

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